New goals

This morning I started a new training program. It was very exciting having a goal and not having to think or make up a program as I have been for the last 6 months. I have spent the last 6 months, firstly revelling and then recovering from my, not so recent channel crossing.

Last year I was on a high, loving my new found freedom and just enjoying the perks of being so fit and rested after 5 years of hard long training and hours and hours of relatively boring sessions in a usually overheated swimming pool. Nearer the end of last year I started losing that incredible fitness and the fatigue hit me full on this year. I don’t think the bigness of my 5 yearlong dream really sank in till recently. It took its toll on me and I needed to start the year slowly. Not with the bang I had intended.

I started the year with all these grand ideas and visions and goals, only to be thwarted by my body’s physical exhaustion and my minds overcommitted mental checklist. I had also recently broken up with my boyfriend and the emotional toll on my fatigue levels certainly did not help matters.

As I have tried to listen to my body and still my mind, coming to terms with what I have achieved and lay my past aside and try to envision the future, I have found myself with lots more spare time! It has not been easy to stop everything and lay low whilst trying to re-establish my identity and the next step. To listen to the voice of the one who made me who I am and who I am becoming rather than the cacophony of voices all around me asking ‘what’s next’ and what about this or that. It has been a real challenge but one I know is so good for me to allow my body mind and soul to rejuvenate and prepare for the next season.
I am a doer by nature and love ticking off my ‘to do lists’ on a regular basis. My mail box is always clean and separated into various folders and I can’t stand having unread e-mails or WhatsApp messages that have not been attended to. But Although I am a far cry from having unread mails in my inbox, I am slowly learning to be still. Reflect, recharge and allow myself to rejuvenate before tackling ‘the next thing’
I am learning to not say yes to everything and to let things sit and linger a little longer than I am usually comfortable with before committing.

I have had some bizarre e-mails and requests over the last month, simply based on the profile that has been created through my NPC and my public profile. From CV’s to small businesses seeking to understand the issue of plastic pollution. Random people from all over that are asking me for my ‘expert’ advice!

I find it bizarre and incredibly humbling. Although this is essentially something I have been working on for a number of years, since it is not something I specifically trained for in terms of a career/ degree it feels odd to be called upon to tackle such big issues. The plastic pollution problem is a passion and a calling rather than a career/ degree for me.

It is now mid Feb and I still don’t quite feel like I am ready to tackle the next phase of my adventure, but at the same time, there is no time like the present and life is short and I will never be fully ready for the next phase because change is inevitable and life is unpredictable. So I am training in faith for the next event, knowing it is 12 weeks away but I need funding for it to happen.

The new training program is so different to my channel program and it is so refreshing having a program again but also such a different one as the goal is different! I think if I had to do another channel now, it would be super hard. My mind and body are not ready for that- even though I thought they were the whole of last year after my initial crossing! I have no doubt that the bug will bite again and I do have some plans up my sleeve, but for now it is invigorating to have a goal (even though not yet confirmed) and a training program to go with it!